Is GOD Funny?
Well? Isn’t IT? (IT = GOD)
First of all, just by the mere fact that IT’s an IT – would lead one to believe that IT must have a Supreme sense of humor. For how could IT be otherwise? I mean – c’mon – IT’s a freakin’ IT, for GOD’s sakes! . . . And do you know what GOD must find funny? That we, as in a sizeable amount of us, still think the Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent Consciousness that created everything in Existence – has a penis! If he’s shaped like a physical man, that absolutely implies he must have an Almighty phallus. What else would he have down there – the Causal Plane?
Camel Commentary: I was going to add – “If you think GOD has a dick, then you are a dick.” But at the last Moment, I decided that sounded way too mean-hearted, and wisely excised it from my essay, so as not to insult anyone who might be offended by it. High-level intuition, such as this, comes when one reaches an impressive level of spiritual mastery. Not to brag or anything, of course.
So, why do so many people still entertain the notion of GOD as some dude up there in the clouds, looking down on us and sporting a beard? This was an image conceived of at least 2,000 years ago – when the most esoteric principle man was capable of understanding, back then, was an unsanitary public toilet system without any barriers; and where group-shitting was considered just a normal part of their daily socializing. So, of course they’re going to associate GOD with the image of a bearded ruler. What else, in their primitive knowledge base, would they have to go by – quantum mechanics? Cosmic microwave background radiation? No, their awareness was much more limited back in the days of mud huts and street-lined crucifixions. So, it’s completely understandable how this image of GOD came about, and why they would conceive of The Supreme in such an archaic manner.
Yet, even to this day – a large number of people still believe in a bearded, male GOD. Why? Because they haven’t given IT much thought. And to those people I say: Don’t be so quick to fall for that Sistine Chapel painting. Michelangelo was under a strict time budget, so that’s what he came up with under intense papal pressure. And here’s another thing: In the centuries since, why haven’t other painters given ALL THAT IS a frickin’ shave? If you’re going to render IT as a man – then at least give him a killer handlebar moustache, right? I think that would look pretty goddamn Lordly – don’t you? I’d even give the guy a sacred, holy bowtie.
Back to IT’s Humor, or Lack Thereof!!!
Now, how is it even possible, that we – the species with the greatest level of conscious awareness on the planet – has ‘humor’ as one of its senses – while the rest of the animal kingdom lives entirely laugh-free? And don’t give me that old, worn-out “laughing hyena argument.” You know as well as I, that they only assume the appearance of guffawing – strictly to fend off predators!!! . . . How, you may ask? By causing their attackers to become completely and obsessively self-conscious. That’s right. A hyena is a powerful, psychosis-inflicting creature that freely roams our earth – mocking those that would be foolish enough to attack, thereby wreaking severe psychological havoc on their unsuspecting victims. This is a true and verifiable fact. (Look it up, if you have the time.)
Wanna Hear a For-Instance???
Let’s say Tommy the Tiger wants to have “hyena cacciatore” for Sunday brunch, one sunny Sunday at “high” noon. So, Tommy gets ready to pounce on his succulent midday meal, when suddenly – “the food” starts pointing at him and laughing its furry, damn hyena-ass off! Well, Tommy immediately starts going into “Mindfuck Territory” (a popular, mental tourist destination, you’ve probably been there yourself) – thinking that maybe the hyena found out about his deepest, darkest secret: that he ate his one-month old cub just eleven days ago, after having nibbled heavily on some high-grade cannabis plants growing somewhere in the outskirts of the Outback!
Camel Commentary: Say, what???
So, Tommy (what the fuck is a tiger doing in Australia?), for the very first time – becomes completely self-conscious for being a horrible, irresponsible parent who resorted to devouring his only child. And he goes dashing off into the brush – as fast and as far away from that rotten-bastard, mind-fucking hyena as he can get! He spends the next few weeks as a total psychological wreck – unable to even climb down from his tree and face an unforgiving world after committing such a repugnant, violent act . . . to his very own fur and blood. He’s now self-conscious of everything, including his own lousy, stinking stripes. Nature can be mercilessly cruel, indeed.
Now, was the hyena’s laugh a reaction to something it found funny? Of course not! It was him strictly exercising his natural PDM (Predator Defense Mechanism). To a hyena – nothing in this world is funny!!! Not a goddamn thing . . . Not even the sight of crocs braking their teeth by chomping down hard on metal debris floating in the water. Hyenas are known to not even crack a smile at those dumbass, toothless crocs, so I hear. Now, humans, on the other hand – are the highest in Consciousness amongst all the planetary species, including plants and insects and Republicans. And we ALL laugh . . . laughter brought on by what? Our “higher intelligence.”
Camel Commentary: No explanation should be necessary as to why I put that in quotes.
2nd Camel Commentary: And no offense to any Republicans reading this. My intention was to insert either political party, strictly as a joke to end the sentence with. It didn’t matter which party, to me, for I am a teacher of spirituality, not politics. So, I flipped a coin and it randomly came up “Republican.” And I can promise you – there was absolutely no gerrymandering involved in the process. It was a fair and honest flip.
In conclusion, if you extrapolate on “humor” being a phenomenon exclusive to entities of “higher intelligence,” one can only conclude that the highest and grandest of all intelligence, or the TAO (The Absolute Omniscience) would have the vastest sense of humor in Existence! For the TAO is ALL of Existence. Therefore, GOD must be hysterically fuckin’ funny. In fact, GOD is probably the sum total of all the humor that exists in Existence (give or take a parallel universe). Either that, or IT thinks we’re just a bunch of chuckling, chortling, snickering, silly muthafuckas who developed laughing as some sort of weird PDM (Psychological Defense Mechanism) for dealing with life’s bullshit and misery and stress. And that “humor” was (and still is) a complete fluke of Nature, attributed to only one race; the weirdest and most psychologically demented race in all of Space . . . and they call themselves “Homo Sapiens” . . . but rarely, if ever – to each other’s faces.
Camel Commentary: GOD better find this blog funny, or I’m fucked . . . Nah, he’d forgive me for it. He’s awesome at Forgiveness . . . especially when wearing his holy bowtie, so I hear.